


Doctor Deathwish

by pomegrapples



Category: Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
Genre: Heavy Angst, Lots of Angst, M/M, Vaclav being stupid with drugs, and forgetting how to be a doctor, be ready for angst, because he won't take care of himself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-22 20:46:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8300416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegrapples/pseuds/pomegrapples
Summary: Adam Jensen has never been one for having too many friends, but Koller has his way of weaseling into people's hearts. He's a great mechanic and a good friend, but the Dvali are starting to get to him and Adam's starting to worry about his health.





	1. Shots and Neuropozyne

**Author's Note:**

> Literally read everything AO3 had in their tag and now here I am to provide the fandom with a Vacdam fanfic that isn't just a oneshot.

"It's not this bad usually, but I'm freaking out, man." Václav ran a hand through his hair, making it even more of a mess than it already was. He was quick and jittery with his movements, hands shaking as he worked on the loose wiring in Adam's hand. Seeing the mechanic this panicked was disheartening, but there wasn't exactly much he could do, really.

Adam clicked back his shades, "Koller, look at me."

He sighed when the man didn't, moving a hand to grab his jaw and to look into his eyes. "If anything happens, you can always call me. This is dangerous work, but you know that. Your top priority is staying safe, you hear me? As soon as you even think they're here, you call me and I will be here in a heartbeat."

They had become an odd pair of friends over the years, but Jensen had a natural protective nature towards those he needed in his life, and Václav was important to him for more than just his augmentations. He needed a friend who wasn't with Interpool or anything. A friend who wasn't involved in his dangerous work. Well, even Václav was, but he acted more human around him than the others, he had the guts to tease him and joke around. It was an appreciated calming presence to come down to Koller's cave. The chair was still a big no, but necessary.

The doctor nodded quickly, gulping and trying to compose himself. "Yes, you're right. I trust you." He shook his head, "I'm sorry, I should be focusing on your hand." The conversation was dropped and his hand was fixed in the matter of five minutes.

  
It didn't take long for Adam to finish up his mission for that day, and coming back to his apartment felt like hell. He hadn't been back there since who knows how long, but everything was still in place. He sighed, taking off his jacket and hanging it up as he deactivated his sunglasses. It had been a long day, and he just wanted to try to get some sleep, but he usually ended up taking a warm shower and making some coffee instead. Sleep wasn't an easy thing to catch after all that's happened, and he just couldn't bring himself to wind down.

He had just made a cup of coffee when Václav called, voice panicking. "Adam, Adam I fucked up. I fucked up, I fucked up." His voice slurred and Jensen was already halfway out the door, slamming it behind him. The mechanic was on Neuropozyne, which meant no alcohol or important systems in your body could crash. With Koller's spinal augmentation, it could kill him if he drank enough.

Adam had never ran faster, shoving past cops and civilians alike. He quickly yelled behind him that it was an emergency, hoping that they would get the message. It took less than three minutes to get to Václav's cave, shades sliding back as he ran over to kneel next to his body. He was shaking almost violently, curled in on himself. Jensen pulled the younger man into his lap, eyes wide. He knew what to do, but he never expected he would have to do this to his doctor. With the spinal aug, shutting down his system was much easier. Koller needed to restart his systems, and when he came to, his body would reject the alcohol.

Quickly, Jensen hit the button and sighed in relief when Václav's eyes closed. He set him gently on the couch, grabbing the trash bin and setting it close to Koller. He sat the mechanic up, holding him closer to the bin before pressing the button again. Václav gasped, eyes opening wide as he coughed. The coughing turned to throwing up, and Adam diligently rubbed his back, sighing softly.

"You're supposed to be the doctor here. I'm not mad, just worried. You know you can't drink with Neuropozyne. You could've died, you idiot." Jensen shook his head, although his tone only gave away concern, nothing else. When the alcohol was finally completely out of his system, Václav turned and clung tightly to Jensen, surprising the agent. He continued to rub the other's back as he cried, the sobs painfully going straight to his heart. That lasted for half an hour, Václav having fallen asleep in his arms.

Adam placed him on the couch again, throwing the contents of the trash bin into the sewers before writing him a note.

 

 

_Koller,_

_I figured you'd be out of it in the morning, so I just wanted to tell you that everything's okay now. I took the rest of your alcohol. No more pulling stunts like that. If the Dvali give you any trouble, I've got your back. Always will, alright? I'm a call away if you need me, I'll come by later today, bring you some food. Not sure when you'll wake up, but call me when you do._

_\- Adam_


	2. The Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babes spend some quality time together.

**On the last video..**

 

_Koller,_

_I figured you'd be out of it in the morning, so I just wanted to tell you that everything's okay now. I took the rest of your alcohol. No more pulling stunts like that. If the Dvali give you any trouble, I've got your back. Always will, alright? I'm a call away if you need me, I'll come by later today, bring you some food. Not sure when you'll wake up, but call me when you do._

_\- Adam_

 

**And so it continues..**

 

* * *

 

 

Václav felt like hell. The backs of his eyes felt like liquid fire and his alarm was blaring. He needed to get up, he had thing to do- Shit, wait. It came back in waves, calling Jensen in a blind panic, the restart. The doctor curled back in on himself, groaning. He couldn't believe he had been so stupid. He was supposed to be the doctor here! This Dvali bullshit was fucking with his head, with his professionalism! It made him feel sicker than he already had, thinking of what he had gotten himself into.

Slowly, he got up, frowning as he read the note. God, Adam was too good for this. He glanced at the clock, sighing when he realised that it was still in the AM. Guess they would be getting breakfast, it seemed. He decided it'd be best to call first.

"Hey, Adam.. Listen man, I'm so sorry about what happened last night. It wasn't professional and completely reckle-"

He was surprised when he was interrupted, but more so by the puff of smoke he had heard before it. "Don't be ridiculous, Koller. It's fine, really. We all slip up sometimes. With what's going on with you lately, I would've done the same thing."

Václav scoffed, "Except you don't take your prescription and you apparently smoke."

"I don't need Neuropozyne, and the smoking isn't a regular thing. That's the only reason I didn't tell you, plus it's not like you don't either."

Caught red handed, really. He had gotten himself on medical marijuana, which wasn't too hard. It was a guilty pleasure, but much needed in times like this. The stress reduction worked marvels when needed. "Yeah, yeah. So, breakfast? I'm starving."

 

They made plans to eat in at Adam's place, considering the rampant paranoia Václav had been experiencing lately. The Interpol agent had a briefing, but Koller had to have a smoke before even thinking about leaving, so they made time. It was odd how easily they could flex their schedules, but he wasn't one to complain. Besides, when Alex Vega comes knocking, it was usually important and at least a week long mission.

Jensen had given him the code in case he was early, which he was. Apparently there was enough to make a decent breakfast around in the apartment, but the cereal caught Václav's attention. He was glad Adam had good taste, that was certainly a deal breaker. When he couldn't find a spare blanket, he took one of the coats hanging and wrapped it around himself, sighing and turning on the TV. All of the doors and windows were locked, he had been assured. Still, it felt weird to be there without Adam. It was only his second time in the apartment, but outside was never safe with the Dvali.

He jumped at the sound of the door unlocking, sighing when he saw it was Jensen. The other raised an eyebrow at him, "It's just me, you're okay. Were you waiting for me to eat?"

Koller nodded, setting the jacket he had curled up with on the back of the couch. "I was thinking just have some cereal, watch some mindless TV, yeah? We can make eggs, if you want. There's loads of options, you weren't lying about the food."

In the end, they decided on cereal and Jensen finally found a spare blanket for Václav. The show they watched was pointless, but comforting. Not having to think much left room for relaxing in the presence of a friend, someone who he trusted. Hell, maybe even he wasn't just a friend, but that was thought for another time. The peace was a nice break, hours of talking about projects over the show, slowly moving closer to each other to hear what the other was saying. It was one hell of a morning that had to get cut short my a work emergency, but not on Adam's end. Another patient had a scheduled checkup, making the mechanic groan.

"I can walk you back?" Jensen offered, already moving to sit up.

Koller shook his head, "You deserve some rest too, man. I can make it back, I'm more concerned about how you're planning to spend the rest of your day. Should I be expecting you tonight? Hopefully nothing too serious."

That made the other grin, no matter how small it was, he saw it. "Most likely. I've got an important mission, so it'd run late, but it won't take more than a day."

"You're speaking to the man that never sleeps, Jensen. Stop by if you need fixing, or even if you don't." He waved and left, closing the door behind him.

The walk home shot his nerves and his thoughts wandered dangerously. Important mission? Did that mean dangerous? Life threatening? What if the Dvali came back? So many other what ifs weaseled their way into his head, making him clench his fists. Adam could take care of himself, and he would be fine. He had promised him it would be okay and he had to believe him.

 

15 hours later, Václav had gone through two pots of coffee and five bowls of weed. With no word from Jensen at all, he was really starting to worry. This wasn't normal, he was supposed to be back by now. Missions that were important but only for a day were usually local, which sprung up an infinite amount of possibilities. The gunshots from his store sent him into panic mode, blindly fumbling to call Jensen as the door to the elevator screeched. They had found it.

The Dvali had finally found his lab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My shitty reference at the begging oh man. I love Cry. Hope you enjoyed, and feedback is always appreciated. Seriously, if something's off, I'd love to know so that I can properly fix it.


	3. All is Fair in Love and War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oooooooh boooy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short oops.

**On the last video...**

 

 

_The gunshots from his store sent him into panic mode, blindly fumbling to call Jensen as the door to the elevator screeched._

_They had found it._

_The Dvali had finally found his lab._

**And so it continues...**

* * *

 

 

Adam had finally decided that, yes, he hates his job. He did finish the mission much earlier than expected with Vega, but that led to the crave to punch a Dvali gang he found outside of their territory. For him, he was worried the henchman might be after Koller. That gave him one reason. He gave him a second when he recognised him and started talking shit about augmented people. They got into a fistfight, leading to other Dvali coming to team up on the agent. He could feel them tear at his augs, gasping for breath as the memories of adjustment and torment flashing quickly against the backs of his eyelids before he was dragged back to Otar.

Jensen's ears rung from the fight still as Otar talked about policies and a shit ton of political bullshit. He only focused when he heard Koller's name, lips bloodied and and most of his augs offline due to damage. "He needed to learn a lesson, I taught him. Don't drag Koller into this, he hasn't done anything but his fucking job."

Otar tsked at his anger, "I'm sure he has, but you do not fear anything except something bad happening to the useless clank that has caused me trouble since the start!"

The agent tried to fight against his own augs, willing them to come back online so he could snap Otar's neck right then and there. They had almost been torn off, that wasn't happening. "I have already sent my men to burn down his beloved shop. He has to pay."

He struggled once again as he was carried out of his office, growling at the guards. One of them accidentally dropped Biocell as they locked the door, Adam quickly scrambling to grab it, inject it, and finally turning his systems back on. He sighed in relief, but the pain was still there. He needed to be fixed, badly. The cold, crusted blood was sticking around the augs, making him cringe. As fast as he could in his current state, Jensen ran to Time Machine. Quickly, he shot one of the henchmen, taking the other out before running into the already burning building. He coughed, flames threatening to lick his trenchcoat.

Finding a crowbar was hard, considering the weight of the door, but he managed. The electricity wasn't working, and access to the lab was cut off. Coughing from the smoke, he finally got into the lab. "Koller!" He sighed in relief, running up to his cowering body. The soft sobs of "Please don't do it!" made him flinch, moving to pick the mechanic up and carry him out the sewer entrance.

 

It took too long for the fire department to show up, but with some yelling, they came and salvaged what they could. Adam kept an arm wrapped protectively around Václav, sighing as he answered questions for him. The sobs were enough to convince the fire department that the place had meant a lot, and did their best to be sympathetic, but they didn't care as much as they would've if they hadn't been augmented. Or if it hadn't been a 'simple bookstore'.

The fireman left to check out the damage, and Jensen rubbed Koller's back. "Václav... You can stay with me while the Time Machine's being rebuilt. I'll keep you safe, I promise." The only response was the doctor nuzzling in closer, which he took as a yes.

 

One week later...

 

Koller wasn't recovering well. That store had been his entire life, the collection he had collected had been the biggest around in the entire world. Adam was doing what he could, making both of them coffee every time he was home and able to, Václav in turn working on repairs whenever needed. It was nice to have a reason to stay home, but it could've gone better.

They smoked together with the windows open on warmer days, trying to retell the better stories to fix the awkward silence that kept falling between them.

He hated this. Hated the feeling of dancing around a subject.

But, didn't they have to? At least for now, didn't Václav need and deserve more time? He wasn't sure anymore what either of them needed. Sleep was one thing, but they needed to talk about what happened and what this meant. To talk about it like they used to be able to.

Jensen sighed, leaning his head back against the couch, taking a long drag of his cigarette. He watched fire burn brighter as he sucked in more tar, sighing out the smoke. It was the first time in a long while he realised just how fucked up his situation was.

Václav had his head in Adam's lap, smoking a blunt and biting his lip every now and again. He was thinking about something. It killed the agent not to know.


	4. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pritchard ruins absolutely every-fucking-thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen.   
> This is super late but for a reason I swear.  
> I was in Texas for the whole week and it killed me.   
> I didn't have my laptop so that meant no writing.  
> So, my apologies. I should've planned ahead.  
> Also, HAPPY HALLOWEEN AND FRANK IERO'S BIRTHDAY OH MAN.  
> RIP. Here's this.

**On the last video...**

 

_Jensen sighed, leaning his head back against the couch, taking a long drag of his cigarette. He watched embers burn brighter as he sucked in more tar, sighing out the smoke. It was the first time in a long while he realised just how fucked up his situation was._

_Václav had his head in Adam's lap, smoking a blunt and biting his lip every now and again. He was thinking about something. It killed the agent not to know._

 

**And so it continues...**

 

* * *

 

 

Most of the days were extremely quiet. Koller managed to keep himself curled up on the couch listening to music for the most part, but he could tell it worried Adam whenever he came back to see him in the same position as he was most mornings. Sometimes he got a call from the company he was using to rebuild his shop, but it was usually eerily silent. It was easy to tell that the Interpol agent was overworking his systems, which only scared him a little bit. The hit he took from the Dvali had offset some important wiring, and some of it Václav wasn't too sure on trying to move. 

At hearing the door click, the doctor reflexively looked up from his phone. He gasped when he noticed the spark of electricity, running over to Jensen while cursing in Czech. "I told you not to test the limits of the wiring!" He groaned, hands moving quickly to adjust the panels to see the total damage to the wiring. 

Jensen only gave him an apologetic look as the shorter man ushered him over to a chair. "I-It hurts, but I didn't even do that much to it." 

"It was unstable at best before whatever you did, Jensen. Fuck, fuck, fuck." Václav yelped as the wire shocked him, holding his finger for a moment before continuing his work. The wires were so jostled, they looked more like huge clumps of snakes than the organised and tactical system they had been before.

 

It took a solid ten minutes to fix it, Koller moving back to his spot on the couch after, this time with Adam's jacket around him. "C'mere." 

Adam did as he was told, sitting beside the doctor, "Now you know how I felt when I had to restart your systems." 

Václav shook his head, moving to use the agent as a pillow again. He was like a cat almost, especially on days like these. His voice was muffled by Jensen's leg, but his tone was clearly annoyed. "What was that?"

"I said that's different. I wasn't hurt, seeing you torn up like that's fucking scary. What if the harvester came after you in this state? You'd be.." He let himself trail off, shaking his head as he took a shaky breath, "You're going to be fine once the skin recovers. It was vicious and has most likely been terrible emotionally. Just.. Take it easy, man, for once."

Adam was silent for a while, just listening to their breathing and rubbing the other's back. For Adam, it was so odd to have someone care this much, Václav could tell.  Even someone so busy with his own personal problems going on at the moment, he made time for Jensen. It was shocking yet one of the best feelings he had felt in a while. Someone gave a shit that wasn't his former boss, or his current boss for that matter. A genuine person who could have the capacity to deal with the bullshit and pain. It certainly was bullshit, dealing with the stoic Adam 'I don't care for my own well-being unless you're upset about it' Jensen. 

He sat up, sighing. "Shit, I forgot to change your bandages." Koller quickly went to the bathroom, grabbing the first aid kit and sitting back down. 

The doctor didn't bother asking permission, knowing he had it. He took off the agent's shirt, flinching at the blood covered wraps. The sight of blood was a common one, but it always made him want to throw up. Carefully unwrapping the bandage, he threw it to the floor before resting his head on Adam's shoulder, hands on his chest. "Sorry, I just.. I wish I hadn't caused this fucking mess." 

Adam didn't move, but the pause in his breathing made Václav shake his head slightly. "Koller, I signed myself up for this when I came to Prauge. Don't blame yourself for this when you're the one fixing it." 

Václav didn't respond, only moving to wrap the new bandage around his arm. Winding it round and round the bicep, hands shaking and thoughts jumping around from medical school to Jensen's words in an instant. When it was tucked properly, he gently leaned down and pressed a kiss to the injured arm before quickly moving to the next, acting as if nothing happened. 

 

He repeated the process with the other arm, placing the kiss before moving back to lay down. Koller still hadn't been sleeping, even with every opportunity to. They stayed on the couch, the mechanic secretly admiring the Sarif technology, a hand absently tracing over his own arm, almost silently comparing them. Sarif technology had always been his favourite, but seeing Jensen's had changed everything.

They were stunning, the black matching Adam's dark aesthetic yet also working functionally to keep them more hidden. Václav's own bright red would be a dead giveaway if he had Jensen's job. Koller had watched Jensen fight sleep for a few minutes before he gave in, making him smile. The agent deserved the rest, too much had happened in the course of the week. The peace was shattered when the tell-tale sound of Adam's infolink went off. The older man jumped at the noise, groaning when he realised who it was. Francis Pritchard. 

"I-.. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Václav sat up, sighing and rubbing at his face before glancing at Jensen. 

"I was trying to sleep, Francis. This is Václav Koller. Now, whatever the hell this is about, make it quick." Koller hummed softly when Adam pronounced his first name correctly. 

"I've heard quite a bit about you, actually." Pritchard's eyes felt cold and calculated as he watched the man size him up, clearly considering the expectations and whatever else he might have found on him. 

"Good things, bad things. I'm sure they're all there." Václav gave him a tired smile, but he couldn't help but feel the hacker's gaze burn into him. 

"Certainly. Jensen, I have something you might be interested in. Just check your email later today for it, I-"

"Thanks, bye." Adam was quick to hang up, shaking his head before standing up, being careful as he stretched, "I'm gonna get some rest, if you need anything come get me."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, I'll do all of the editing for the typos and whatnot once this is finished. I write these chapters mostly at midnight on zero hours of sleep, so bare with me please. I hope you're enjoying this mess. Thanks for sticking around. <3


	5. The Files

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> : IMPORTANT : 
> 
> So I decided how long it's going to be. 11 is the sad ending. 12 is the epilouge that goes for the sad ending, and then 13, the happy one. If you don't like heartbreaking endings, that will be a happy ending for you because I couldn't decide which one I liked better and I'm not a complete monster.

**On the last video...**

 

_"I've heard quite a bit about you, actually." Pritchard's eyes felt cold and calculated as he watched the man size him up, clearly considering the expectations and whatever else he might have found on him._

_"Good things, bad things. I'm sure they're all there." Václav gave him a tired smile, but he couldn't help but feel the hacker's gaze burn into him._

_"Certainly. Jensen, I have something you might be interested in. Just check your email later today for it, I-"_

_"Thanks, bye." Adam was quick to hang up, shaking his head before standing up, being careful as he stretched, "I'm gonna get some rest, if you need anything come get me."_

 

**And so it continues...**

 

* * *

 

 

When Adam woke up, Koller was miraculously asleep for once, making him hum happily. The doc had a tendency to work himself to death and end up passing out for an entire day to try to make up for it, but that didn't usually work too well for him. He remembered Frank's call last night and sighed, moving to grab a box of cereal and pouring a bowl for himself. Breakfast, check the emails, and go to TF29 to talk to Miller about whatever he had decided to call him in for this time. He never made himself eggs, hell he hadn't made any since Megan... 

He shook his head, already regretting even thinking about her. It still made his heart ache to think about her, but now wasn't the time. 

The bowl of cereal was quickly finished off and put in the sink, Adam rubbing his face before sitting back down and logging into his computer. There was an email with three files attached. 

_Jensen,_

_Once I found out what you were getting yourself into, I figured I'd get some information for you so you don't put yourself in too much danger. Don't get yourself killed and don't take more risks than you have to. You're dealing with dangerous people._

_Attachment: Dubai_  
Attachment: Václav Koller  
Attachment: Gold Masks

Adam frowned, avoiding the file about Koller and going straight to the file about the gold masks. He wasn't going to invade on Václav's life, he'd already done enough when he read the emails, but these government files.. It would tell him things he could only assume he didn't want to know. He doubted the mechanic had anything bad on his record, but he wouldn't want someone else reading his own files, even if they only went to his 'death'. He locked his computer and sighed, looking at his tactical gear before grabbing his trench coat and heading out to TF29. 

 

Coming back to the apartment, he found Koller sitting on the couch with a cigarette dangling from his lips and a styrofoam box in his lap. "Your's is on the counter, still warm and there's a container of foot sauce for you. You've had food from The Chicken Foot before, right? They're the best. I almost got a job there before I decided on opening the Time Machine. Speaking of, apparently the rebuilding is coming along well, I got a call today." 

Jensen nodded, "That's good." His mouth watered at the thought of food, knowing that The Chicken Foot was actually really good. He'd only eaten there once, but after working all day, anything would work. He grabbed the box off of the counter and took a fork from one of the drawers before joining Václav on the couch. He took a bite, humming contently, "Thank you for the food."

"Thank you for the cigarettes." Václav laughed, taking a drag before speaking again, "Man, you haven't eaten all day, have you. That's harsh. On your next day off, I'll take you on a date there." 

Adam raised an eyebrow at that, "A date? Haven't been on one of those in a while." He smirked, "Why not?"

The doc was clearly surprised, "I-I.. Alright, sounds like a plan."

They both ate, listening to the old punk rock Václav had put on. He was just glad that Koller listened to good music. It lead to Adam talking about the very many concerts he had gone to, clearly making Koller jealous. He found a few old tickets, brought up some old videos and talked about old experiences. It felt so normal, Jensen almost fell into it. _Almost_. Václav got a call, instantly he went wide eyed, silent and shaking. He didn't answer it, but the agent had a feeling he knew who it was. All of the comfort was drained from the room, leaving a cold and paranoid vibe. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Koller confirmed does indeed smoke cigarettes. On his desk there's an ashtray so yeah. He also has a book on SWAT, another on the laws of Detroit, and police ethics. Interesting, don'tcha think?
> 
> So this one was totally way too short but I'm literally losing my muse for this fic rip. This has been drafted for a long ass time and the notes before this one are when I was feeling this but I dunno, might give up. Sorry if I do.


End file.
